Transl ati on of "ogboj u ODE ...": A Crl t t que in Trilingual Dimension victor C. ARIOLE, ph.D. - vicariole@gmail.com Ayo YUSUFF, ph.D. - yoyussuf@yahoo.co.uk university of Lagos, Akoka, Nigeria. paper presented At French Teachers Association of Nigeria conference held at OAU - Ile-Ife from 9th to 13th March, 2014. f..- Translation of "Ogboju ODE..."':A Critique in Trilingual Dimension Victor C. ARIOLE, Ph.D. - vicariole@gmail.com Ayo YUSUFF, Ph.D. - yoyussuf@yahoo.co.uk University of Lagos, Akoka, Nigeria. ABSTRACT This paper, an initial work on trilingual translation critique - Yoruba, English and French - aims at deconstructing and reconstructing reciprocally colonial languages' capacity or incapacity to contain the seemingly polysemous degree of expressivity of the African discourse seen in different shades of literary genres. Such works on other - Nigerian languages are to follow. Two works or two great polyglots are in focus here - Wole Soyinka translating from Yoruba to English and John Abioye translating from Yoruba to French. Four semio-syntactic and stylistic constructs attract our interest here. They are: the use of noun clause/phrase, adverbial phrase, adjectival phrase and African proverbs. Our discoveries serve as guides for further translation enterprise of African document replete with African expressive specificities indicating special worldview for a better syncretic globalisation. The statement hereunder corroborates and necessitates this exercise. The most famous and enduring of Fagunwa's works, most readers will agree, is OGBOJU ODE NINU IGBO IRUNMALE, which I translated nearly fifty years ago as The Forest of a Thousand Daemons. At that time, I had resolved to translate nothing less than ALL of Fagunwa's novels and other writings, in order to make them accessible to non-Yoruba readers both within and outside the African continent. Based on my translation, there have been others into Italian and French. That raises the obvious question - why has it taken me nearly half a century to translate another of his works? After all, the resolve - and challenge - continued to hover round the filling of lily skull... The real inhibiting factor for me however was, and still is - Fagunwa is not an easy writer to translate! When I set out to subdue the OGBOJU ODE with my self-assured literary armoury, it was to be a labour of love, a tribute to a writer on whose verbal pyrotechnics my generation had been weaned... I thought I could undertake the translation of his works sleepwalking, one hand tied behind my back, the other cradling a frothing calabash of palm-Wine! Well, I learnt the hard way. After the unexpectedly tasking experience of struggling through that text, I came to the conclusion that I had better attend to my own writing - at least for some time - before attempting to tackle another product of that master of the Yoruba language! (Wole Soyinka: 2010) Translation of "Ogboju ODE ...": A Critique in Trilingual Dimension By Victor C. ARIOLE, Ph.D. Ayo YUSUFF, Ph.D. Faculty of Arts, University of Lagos, Akoka, Nigeria. 1. Introduction As globalization gets "guarded" due to fear of extinction of non dominant cultures expressed in different languages and the need for a given nation or economic groupings, like European union, Eurasia-where Russia and EU are fighting for the soul of Ukraine, to keep their industries alive, translation is becoming highly specialized; as "terminology" becomes one of its tools for efficiency. European Union maintains an annual budget of $1.5 billon (about W250 billion) for that purpose. (cf The Economist Feb 15, 2014: p.57). Beyond economic reasons, a humanistic dimension to sustainable human existence crave, as at now, for tolerance among civilizations. What the USA is reaping today in technology did not preclude the language industry, as most computers translate, though imperfectly, most Nigerian languages. USA researchers had been studying and making efforts to include many languages in their systems especially African languages. At a conference in Harvard, our research interest saw us interacting with a Ph.D holder in Igbo working for IBM-computer hardware producer in USA. It opened our eyes to future possibility of having a system in which you key-in your own native language and you see it produced in all the possible languages you could imagine even if not perfect. In effect, like the president of Nigeria, Jonathan (2013) said: "You can only claim to be fully educated if you are bilingual." Current intelligence reporting challenges creating difficulties in overcoming current insurgency is an issue in intelligence 1 officers not multilingual. Such computer operations could help as it did for USA in Vietnam. In effect, multi-linguals are better placed to do intelligence work. Literary translation in many languages help in reducing the clash of civilizations as witnessed today among many economic groupings present in Africa as needed to make Africa's presence felt; hence the need to embark on critiquing works of African origin presented in different languages so as to continue sustaining accurate representation of the African cultural standpoints. Professors John Abioye and Wole Soyinka are great polyglots that could lead the way for the expansion of translation critique in multiple languages, especially as Nigeria intends to lead Africa and so, needed to emulate USA and E.U in expanding enough through the language industry. 2. Some Theoretical and Practical Reviews Vinay and Darbelnet (1958) embarked on veiled translation critique enterprise they coined comparative stylistics of English and French as observed in the North America of USA and Canada. Today, terminology studies, inspired by such critique, are springing in Canada and Europe. In the same vein, subtitling of films seems to be another avenue of relating multi- cultural issues to the world. Antia and Vanallemeersch (2012) adopts an approach that corresponds to how Roman Jakobson theorises on language: bringing to fore referential functions of language; that is: making facts remain facts; emotive function of language-showing the hopes, aspiration, fears or joy of the original source; connative functions-creating a hypodermic effect on the target audiences; phatic function-getting into propaganda, an aspect that keeps, excites or distances the target audience; metalingual functions-creating special means to express situations not found in the target language, etc. 2 To them it is a structural issue; that is, involving quantitative and qualitative measures as well as following the principles of complementary distribution of information necessary to make correct decision in subtitling so as to avoid undermining the message intended by the product-the film. Ariole (2011) contends that such process, especially taking into cognizance the combined result of emotive, phatic, referential and conative, ought to underlie the avoidance of distorting African names and names of elements that lead to mode of knowing in Africa; for example, names and elements as found in Africa's creative or literary works convey meaning of epistemological imports that could be distorted if not well transmitted in a target language. Dancette, Audet and Jay-Rayon (2007) see the process as creativity oriented and must be done to guard against misrepresentation in the target language hence it must touch on conscience, resilience in remaining focused on the object of discourse and making sure that the translator carried out research to know constraints and limits required, or are inherent, in the exposure to that object or subject matter. The emotional biases, of the translator must, also, relate the intent of the originator or avoid fundamental emotional clash with the target audience. The translator must, as well, be sensitive to values of culture specific, either of the origine or of the target audience. 3. Analysis of Level of Fidelity in Rendering Ogboju Ode ... in English and French. The analysis is in the following areas: Rendition of Noun Phrases, Adverbial Phrases, Adjectival Phrases and some Proverbs, seeing those elements as key to upholding or negating propounded theories relevant to literary translation. 3 3.1: NOUN PHRASES Note: When the phrases are underlined, it means there are asymmetries in the rendition, other adjoining phrases guide in understanding the asymmetries. FAGUNWA SOYINKA ABIOYE a. Thornmi ati apo ode mi ko kura I had stuck close to my gun and my Quant a la pierre que ma mere n'avait lowo mi (PAO) hunting-bag. (p.60) offerte, je la gardai dans mon sac de chasse car depuis que je commancai a eprouver des moments difficiles, je ne m' etais plus separe de tout ce dont je disposais comme arme : mon fusil et mon coupe-coupe. (p.64) Analytical Comment: Except the position of "mi" = "my", the Yoruba and English presentations observe the same asymmetries. The French version proceeded in what Vinay & Darbelnet termed "etoffement"; more of explanatory translation b. Awon era Oke Langbodo. (PA7) The expedition to Mount Langbado. Les voyageurs sur Oke Langbado. (p.74) (p.68) Analytical Comment: The use of the head noun in the three languages differ: "Awon era", "the expedition" and "les voyageurs". However, "expedition" makes it more of being on a pilgrimage or voyage of discovery thereby situating Oke Langbodo as holy site. 4 c. A! iragbeje po lokunrin. (p.7l) Ab, a most impressive man is Iragbeje. Oh! Iragbeje etait un homme formidable. (p.lOO) (p.116) Analytical Comment: As blurred adjectival and noun clauses this constituent units the three languages. d. o mu oti igbese, 0 yo kinridin. He drank the wine, the wine of debtors Il a trop bu du vin de grosses bananes et (p.72) and was solidly drunk. (p. lO2} a fini par avoir un ventre qui·point outrageusement. (p.IIS) Analytical Comment: There is an unexpressed or implied meaning of "oti igbese" which the French version intended to expatiate with the physical outlook of the person. It also triggered the "etoffement" process. e. Enyin ore mi. (p.I) My friends all. (p.7) Chers amis. (p.I) Analytical Comment: This disparity avoidable here is the English "all". One wonder if "you, my friends" wouldn't have served. f. Igba ekini Akara-Ogun ninu igbo First sojourn of Akara-Ogun in the forest La premiere experience vecue par irunmale. (p.5) of a thousand daemons. (p.14) Akara-Ogun en tant que chasseur dans la foret d'Irunmale. (p.9) Analytical Comment: The French version indulged greatly in etoffement here; La premiere experience .. , en tant que chasseur. .. is too long to serve as "initial experience". The fact that "Akara-Ogun" as a name denotes non-neophytee. g. A! onijo njo alayo nyo nwon nda A-ah, the dance-prone danced, the joy- 11 danser, 11 sautiller et 11 pousser des cris muso nitori mi, nwon nfe pa mi filled rejoiced, they began to count their de joie. (p.I1I12) je. (p.7) chickens for they looked forward to killing and feasting on me. (p.I6) 5 Analytical Comment: The English version played out the poetic expression required while the French was quite prosaic. The English version approximated the original intention. 3.2: ADVERBIAL PHRASES FAGUNWA SOYINKA ABIOYE a. Nigbati 0 to bi wakati kan. (p.40) For about an hour. (p.60) Au bout d'environ une heure. (p.64) Analytical Comment: "nigbati" = "when" does not take the same form in the English and French versions. b. Bi mo ti 10 si igbe 10 se ode. When I went to the bush to hunt. (p.66) Unjour, quandje faisais la chasse. (p.4S) (p.71) Analytical Comment: "Bi" finds it difficult to represent "when" or "quand" in English and French. c. Nwon bo ile mi sikansikan. (p.47) They covered my home like a swarm of Ils y vinrent tres nombreux. (p.74) locusts. (p.68) Analytical Comment: "Sikansika" is also not quite represented in English and French. "Adaptation" as a process of translation was used here. d. Bi 0 ti wi bayi tan na ni 0 dide ni No sooner had he spoken than he rose Apres s' etre exprime sur ce ton, il ile ibiti nwon bi i si. (p.76) from the spot on which he had been penetra dans la chambre de sa mere. delivered. (p.1 06) (p.124) Analytical Comment: There is a "contre-seens" in the French version as an expression of the extraordinary is intended differently here. "Rising up" = "dide" but not "penetrer" which means penetrate; possibly by crawling or 6 wizardry. e. Bi awon akorin ti nkorin ninu ile As the choir was singing in the church. Il allait it d'eglise ... Un jour, pendant Olorun. (p.95) (p.131/132) que le chceur chantait les louanges de Dieu. (p.153) Analytical Comment: In French why "dans l' eglise" was not used is quite doubtful as "chceur" or "choir" can only trigger "church" as well as "ile Olorun". f. Nigbati enia gbe iwin ni iyawo, When man takes ghommid to wife, the Au mariage d'un etre humain avec taraiyetaraorun njeun womu. natives of earth and heaven banquet fit to une fee, tous les habitants de la terre (p.44) burst. (p.65) et ceux des cieux se reunirent. (p.69) Analytical Comment: In French "au marriage" gives the impression of a normal situation which Antia et al feels distorts the phatic and emotion content oflanguage as against questionable-prone expression of "Nigbati" and "when". g. Mase gbagbe mi ojoti akuko yio Do not forget me until the day that the Tu as un devoir secret de toujours ko lehin re. (p.46) cock crow on your depleted flesh. (p.67) pens er it moi meme jusqu' it la mort. (p.72) Analytical Comment: The French version is quite direct and applied "economie" process. The Yoruba theme does not quite translate to the English proverb presented. h. Nko fe ki e jo ilu mi bi igbati Now I do not want you to dance to my Mais une mise en garde: je ne yanmuyanmu ba njo ibembe. (p.I) drumming as a mosquito to the deep voudrais pas que vous dansiez aux ibembe drums. (p.7) rythmes de mon tarn-tarn it la maniere d'un moustigue qui, tout squelettique 7 et voulant danser aux rythmes d'ibembe ... (p.l) Analytical Comment: The intended original "dancing" = "njo ibembe" ought to create sickness expression in both English and French as the dance couldn't have been made for weakling in spirit. The use of 'deep' by the English version is wasteful. It adds nothing to the meaning. 3.3: ADJECTIVAL PHRASES FAGUNWA SOYINKA ABIOYE a. A 10 si ibudo ti Lamorin ti pa. We went to a lodge which Lamorin had Puis nous allames passer la nuit dans (PAl) built. (p.6l) la tente que Lamorin avait prepare. (p.65) Analytical Comment: Adjectival markers are well observed in the languages. French version represents "pa" better than the English version as Lamorin lodge could be spiritually fortified, however "ibudo" translates better to "lodge" if lodge stands for secret abode. b. Itan aramada kan. (PA7) Tales of marvel. (p.68) Des histoires droles, edifiantes et moralisatrices. (p.74) Analytical Comment: The expressions in the three languages are quite attributes with elided introducers. French elided "ce sont", English "they are" Yoruba "won- je". c. Oke aimoye eiye ega ti nwon nje Flocks of weaver-birds frolicking on the Aux alouettes qui se bousculent pour 8 aiye won lori igi ope. (p.4 7) crown of the palm. (p.68) se nourrir autour d'un seul palmier. (p.74) Analytical Comment: The approach adopted in both English and French is the process of "equivalent"; quite acceptable. d. Okuta olowo iyebiye. (p.71) Most precious stones. (p.l 00) De pierre precieuses. (p.116) Analytical Comment: Both the French and English did a "non-sens" of the original text. "Okuta" that makes money could be spiritual or fetish-like than diamond or gold. e. Ege eran mewa. (p.72) Ten hunks of meat. (p.101) Dix gros morceaux de viande. (p.118) Analytical Comment: Here is mere literary translation approach. f. Ora ti 0 ju enu omode 10. (p.73) Words which far exceed the language of De dire des choses qui seraient, children. (p.l 02) normalement en bonne societe, interdites aux enfants. (p.119) Analytical Comment: French was quite subjective with "normalement eu bonne societe". g. Enyin ti e gbekuta nitori ati se ilu Who bartered death away in order to do Chers amis intrepides et courageux yin lore. (p.94/95) your country good. (p.131) qui se sont donnes la peine pour faire avancer leur pays et patrie. (p.152) Analytical Comment: The remark to make here is that "ti" seems to be consistent as relative clause marker not discriminating against "which or who" so also in French: "qui and que". h. Ohun ti oiu baba mi ri ko to nkan The experiences which my father Les experiences vecues par man pere lara temi. (p.5) underwent proved to be nothing n' etaient que de enfantillage it cote 9 compared with mine. (p.14) des miennes. (p.9) Analytical Comment: Fr 'nch version adopted "modulation" process by introducing past participle instead of relative pronoun. 1. Akoko ti mba ri won pa gan ni mo At the moment when I had a really good Ce fut au moment meme ou j' allais dede ri abami eda kan. (p.9) chance to make a kill a singular being tirer sur un de ces animaux que appeared. (p.18) j' apercus de nouveau, un etre dont la taille etait tres insignifiante. (p.14) Analytical Comment: Here, again, "ti" agrees with "when" and "ou" Either in French or English, it could be adverbial phrase. J. A! Iragbeje po lokunrin. (p.71) Ah, a most impressive man is Iragbeje. Oh! Iragbeje etait un homme (p.IOO) formidable. (p.116) Analytical Comment: In a passive tone the underlined expressions could go for noun phrase for the three languages, hence "un homme formidable est Iragbeje", "po lokunrin, Iragbeje je. We have it in page 5, also. k. Ohun re si gba igbo kan. (p.7) His voice totally encompassed the forest. Le Roi des trolls poussa un grand cri (p.16) aigu et d'une voix qui ne manqua pas de se faire entendre partout dans la foret. (p.ll) Analytical Comment: French version avoided the possessive adjective "re" and "his" giving the impression that the anaphoric markers "re" and "his" lack in French. 10 3.4: YORUBA PROVERBS The proverbs are translated using the approach known as adaptation or equivalence: however some of the translation processes for the proverbs are mere explicative or downplaying the original proverb, in order to agree with the emotion of language as propounded by Antia et al (2012) already cited. FAGUNWA SOYINKA ABIOYE a. Ododo oro bi egun ni 0 nri Words of truth are as thorns, the honest La verite blesse et celui qui dit olododo si ni ota aiye. (p.47) man is the foe of the world. (p.69) toujours la verite parmi les hommes court le risque d'etre appele l'ennemi jure. (p.75) Analytical Comment: Both French and English versions are mere explicative process. French, for example, as an equivalence: la verite rougit les yeux mais ne les casse pas. Yes, saying the truth make some people see the sayer with reddened eyes (hatred). b. Opolopo alangba ni 0 da ikun de The majority of lizards do indeed press Bon nombre de lezards qui ont le ile a ko mo eyiti inu nrun. (p.4S) their bellies to the ground but we do not ventre tourne ver le sol, on n'arrive know which of them really suffers from point it designer celui d' entre eux qui stomach ache. (p.69) aurait mal au ventre. (p.76) Analytical Comment: The versions are, all, explicative: though the French version makes it entertaining: 'tourne ... ' c. Enyin ni 0 ndi akuko omode ani si For it is the egg which becomes the cock, Car petit poisson deviendra grand, 11 ni baba ola. (p.72) the child is tomorrow's father. (p.lOl) pourvu que Dieu lui prete vie. (p.ll7) Analytical Comment: F . eh version was highly entertaining. 'Dieu' - God needed to be avoided here. d. Eyiti 0 wa lehin ogofa 0 ju ogoje What follows a hundred and twenty far 11risque de devenir ainsi ce qui n' est 10. (p.73) exceeds a hundred and forty. (p.103) ni chevre ni lapin. (p.119) Analytical Comment: The two versions operated adaptation process, and they seem 'contre- sens' to the original e. Ete ni igbehin alaseju aseju si ni Disgrace is the goal of excess, and the Un homme vaniteux finit par etre baba asete agba ti 0 wo ewu aseju immoderate is the father of the disgraced; tourne en ridicule. C'estjustement ete ni yio fi ri. (p.82) the elder who puts on the cloth of excess I'homme vaniteux qui cherche it will wear it to his own humiliation. ajouter des pieds au serpent. (p.134) (p.ll6) Analytical Comment: French and English versions were explicative though 'ajouter des pieds au serpent' makes for comedy. f. Bi egun eni bajo're ori a ya ni. When our masquerade dances well, our Voir bien danser sa mascarade excite (p.l) heads swell and do a spin. (p.7) necessairement une joie immense chez le guide. (p.1) Analytical Comment: The Frech version makes' masquerade' a personal issue whereas it is not: 'our' in English makes it a collective issue. g. Bi owe bi owe ni a nIu iIu Like the son or ous proverb do we drum Le tarn-tarn d'ogidigbo ; ce sera moi ogidigbo, ologbon ni ijo 0, the agidigbo ; it is the wise who dance to le batteur dudit tarn-tarn et vous les omoran ni si imo o. (p.l) it, and the learned who understand its savants qui vont danser it ses rythmes. 12 language. (p.7) (p.1) Analytical Comment: The same comment for "f' goes for "g": collective mythical issue gets downplayed if personalised. h. Emi ti ko ba je ata emi kekere ni. The soul which does not eat hot peppers Toute ame ne sachant pas bien se (p.15.) is a weak soul. (p.28) nourrir et chetive et minable. (p.24) Analytical Comment: The mythical value attached to that proverb in its original presentation seems the value by both the French and English versions. It is not far from saying that" one is an adult who still indulges in being fed with "biberon " 1. Eniti 0 se ohun ti eni kan ko se ri, He who must do what no one has done Celui qui essaie de faire ce que oju oluware na yio ri nkan ti before him will experience that which no personne n'a tente de faire vivra une enikan ko ri ri. (p.21122) man had experienced before. (p.36) experience que personne n'ajamais vecue. (p 33) Analytical Comment: Here, also, the versions are explicative. J. lku ogun ni ipa akikanju, iku odo The aggressive man no one dies the death Le lievre finit toujours par mourir au ni ipa omuwe, iku obinrin ni ipa of war, the swimmer dies the death of gite, (p.33)water, the vainglorious dies the death of agbere, owo ti ada ba mo ni ika women; it is the trade of the cutlass that ada lehin, ohun ti a ba je ni iyo ni. breaks its teeth, the food we eat is what fills our bellies. (p.36.) (p.22) Analytical Comment: "akinkanju" is better translated as valiant. French, tried an equivalence here with "le lievre" - whatever you indulge in, is likely to lead to your demise. 13 In general, it seems that the mythical value of Afican proverbs is highly difficult to find space in the colloniallanguage syntatic structure or thought pattern. It means that more thories are needed to be propounded on how best to render african proverbs. Both French and English versions of "Ogboju Ode... " as translated here wer of low fidelity rendition. 4. Conclusion In this work we limited ourselves. to three constituents of sentence structure and, partially opaque or compact structure proverbs. We observed that the noun phrases produced differences in the three languages in question and that they created problem for the French translator just as the proverbs created problems, also, for the English translator. For the French audience, the text could serve as entertainment the way it was rendered in French, the etoffement process; and for the English (non African) audience, it could be seen as fetish discourse- designed to be undestood by an audience farmiliar with the discourse. In all, it is necessary to note that both translations needed revision in view of the current civilisation clashes everywhere, as the Anglo- Saxons or those sympathetic with Whites of Anglo-Saxon Protestants (WASP) seem turning the world into great cultural laboratory involving animals, sexuality, cloned elements and robot, towards intertwining humanistic culture with robotic culture. The fact that the adverbial phrases drew more asymmetries than other phrase structures show that emphasis leading to modification of thought patterns expressed in adjectival phrases or verbal phrases give easier clue to universals than noun phrases and proverbs. This work opens the search for more studies in other constituents of the sentence structure; especially the verbal structure and its predicative stimulus and response chain in any given discourse. Note that the French 14 version gives less room to autonomous-like phrase structure, what is known in French as "enonce syntaxique". Whereas African discourse is replete of such phrase, and that the proverb syntactic structures in Afica, mostly, behave that way; the colonial languages fail in most cases to accomodate such pattern or behaviour. How to relate such structure to the colonial languages is tasking. 15 References ABIOYE, Olaoye J. (1989) Le Preux Chasseur Dans la Foret Infestee de Demons (Traduction Francaise d'Ogboju-Ode Ninu Igbo lrunmale de D.O. Fagunwa, Ilupeju Lagos: Nelson Publishers in Cooperation with Total Nigeria Ltd. ANTIA, B.E. and VANALLEMEERSCH, T. (2012) "Multimodality and Decision-Making in Subtitling" in 1. Bariki, D. Kuupole & M. Kambou. 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